Sunday, April 25, 2010

What Does Child Care Have To Do With Men?



I was sitting eating lunch at one of my favorite Zaxby's reading my latest copy of the Atlanta Business Chronicle when an article by Maria Saporta caught my eye. 4/2-8/10 issue, pg 8A.

The economy has taken its toll on the youngest among us. A new survey conducted by Quality Care for Children, an Atlanta-based organization dedicated to nurturing and educating infants and young children, has documented a sharp decline in the number of child-care centers, a net loss of about 600, in the state during 2009.


But the results are even more dire when it comes to quality child-care centers.


In 2008, Georgia had 304 centers that had been accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. In 2009, that number had dropped to only 221 nationally accredited child-care centers.


To put that in context, there are an estimated 470,000 children in Georgia under the age of 6 who spend as much as 10 hours a day in the care of someone other than their parents. But only 26,843 of those children (5.7 percent) are in centers that have received national accreditation.



Read more: Georgia’s child care is growing more fragile - Atlanta Business Chronicle:


First, I was thinking, hmm..economy has hit hard, my wife reminded me later of the programs now across the state tied into schools that many think of as free but they aren't...someone is paying....after school programs now exist and before school programs and I wonder why Ms. Saporta left that out. Many have opted in these "free" programs...still that is not the issue.

Next, the accredited centers is interesting but Maria doesn't go into detail of what is required in this article. It was the next line that got me to stop eating my Buffalo Blue Zalad.

To put that in context, there are an estimated 470,000 children in Georgia under the age of 6 who spend as much as 10 hours a day in the care of someone other than their parents.

I quickly remembered Robert Lewis's teaching in Men's Fraternity (Lifeway- Quest for Authentic Manhood) of how America changed from being an agricultural nation and the father worked the fields and the children learned but were always around dad. Then dad got a job in the factory and he was gone and then of course today we are in the two income family where the children are left and then picked up later in the day.

I would like for you to think about the lack of male role models in the lives of the young boy's represented in that 470,000 number as they go thru child care and into school. Then think about the lack of men in elementary school settings. Even in the church, think about the number of men that aren't involved in young men's lives until they reach 3rd of 4th grade if they are lucky in the church.

I am amazed at how many dads in church think, "I have my own children and I am not working the nursery anytime!" and in our church you don't have to change diapers! and this is the family of God.....but, I digress.

Here is some things that hit me as I enjoyed the Texas Toast at Zaxbys, men are missing from this equation. Men don't realize it, and the issue of fatherlessness across America is making it the new norm.

I mentioned this to a co-worker this past week and she quickly agreed. She remarked that "My son was blessed to have a man teach him in 2nd grade and it made a huge difference in his grades and his focus."

You see God Created man and woman to share the load. Man was created first for a reason and when man is neglecting his role as leader things get out of order of how God created him.
E.M. Bounds said in the 1500's that "God is not looking for better methods, He is looking for better men."

The shape of these young men in Georgia is probably only being shaped if they are involved in sports at an early age and that can be a great thing if you get a coach motivated to teach the game or a coach motivated only to win and living out his past to show he can beat other kids at a game.

The church needs to be praying about how to help make a difference in this.
You and I need to think about how we can Create A Better Story around this for these young men. We need to pray for wisdom to make a difference in our neck of the woods.


Donald Miller made me think alot about this last year on his national speaking tour to start men to mentor younger men and make a difference.

Donald's dad was an absent dad when he grew up and only met him much later in life. (Detailed in A Thousand Miles in A Million Years) and now his newest book " Father Fiction.
http://www.strandbooks.com/app/www/p/profile/?isbn=1439169160

This is not an easy answer. I welcome your thoughts. We need to Create A Better Story for our young men today to be noble, authentic men who lead well. They learn this best from other men and if they aren't learning this, we will continue to lose the sight of true masculinity and think it comes only from playing sports.

I can remember graduating from college and getting involved in a youth soccer league as it started in the early 80's in my hometown in Alabama. No one except our league leader knew about soccer..he was from Charlotte and he showed us and taught us the game.

I had three teams over those years. One year it was 1st and 2nd graders. So much fun. Cloud of dust and a score! and then two years of 3rd and 4th graders. My younger brothers helped me with the teams and I even coached one team with 9 players instead of 11. All those young men are now grown and have families.

At that time, I didn't know and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. My heart is more attune today to these type issues because I see the toll it is taking on men in America.

Years later I worked with two different high school bands on staff as a hobby. It was an honor with a friend's band to take vacation and teach band camp with the kids. I learned so much about them, some had decided already about college others haven't and that is fine...but it was nice to encourage both these young men and women to reach past the "status quo" of life and as John Maxwell says, "It is lonely on the extra mile."

Sports is an exciting thing, but competitive band is a bit better in one way. You see in sports many times you beat one team and are recognized as the winner. In band with one of my friend's bands we beat 26 other bands one Saturday in a competition. There is not many feelings like that. The kids were so pumped. You see the year before they had a different director and had finished last. We intentionally took them back to this contest to get over that hurdle and show them that they could win by working hard as a team across many judging panels....The memory of them pulling into that last block in front of me and kicking that last lick in always stays with me. Then the horns came down and they were yelling, "One more time Mr. Humphrey, one more time" They were screaming, beaming and I turned around and from there on the 50 looked up and they had the whole crowd standing......I knew we had impacted their lives and created a memory they would never forget and if they didn't win, they had won the crowd over.

But today, men are shirking from leading in many ways and it is creating what many call a "leadership vaccuum."

They are not honoring the covenant of marriage. They father children and walk away and not even pay child support. Think about is over 50% of marriages are ending in divorce. Many divorces have slowed down due to this economy simply due to the fact that neither had money to split. The kids are an afterthought. Self is more important.

Marriage is a covenant before God. God says that He hates divorce. You can see why because He knows all the pain that will trail it and sometimes for generations.

As a man we need to figure out how we can touch younger men's lives 1) work the nursery at church 2) become prayer warriors with ones as they get into 5th and 6th grade 3) serve in FBLA and Jr Achievement programs with schools 4) Coach teams in sports if you have that gift 5) consider a career change to teach in elementary and middle schools 5) work on programs on character etc with schools for programs with guest speakers etc. 6) work high school bands as I did or with FCA.

We have much as men to share with younger men about the right things about being a man, a good sport and a encourager.

Would you join me in this prayer focus that we as men start to work with younger men?



















Saturday, April 3, 2010

Easter 2010- The Tomb is Empty!


This is a special time of year and each year I get more excited each year Easter approaches. There is no story like this one. Jesus did what no other man has done because he wasn't man. He came to fulfill the Scripture and I am thankful for that. He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!!


Updated Thoughts and Ramblings: Just got Tyler Stanton's new book, "Everyday Absurdities" which is a thoughts he has been putting on the web for years at www.tylerstanton.com Some pretty funny stuff. Just ordered "A Failure of Nerve, Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix" looks like a tremendous jewel. Here is more about it:

http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadershop/9781596270428.html

Family and Life Updates...........

The kids continue to grow and are doing well with their transition from home school to Oakwood.

My wife loves her job and that is neat to see. I mean she loves it and is really doing some neat things as the high school opens this fall. She is working hard and taking good care of herself..

My son is a good young man and is Student Body President, the twins have just finished competing for drama competitions after a fall stint on the first volleyball team and doing great and little Sarah Beth is doing super in pre-K.
Fletcher and I started going driving last weekend to get him started learning to drive.
He is getting up at 5am in the morning to help with Oakwood's Easter in the Park event.
Our kids get the benefit of Woodland Park's Student Ministry and Oakwood's each week. wow...

My job continues to be a blessing. There is so much to do it can be overwhelming but that is what I love about it. I can go from an issue on the floor, an injury at 3am, to interviewing a sales candidate, to talking with our VP of Sales about territory strategy. Usually an ISO 14001 issue, Security issue to working on a training event to counseling an associate. The big item came four weeks ago.......

My church has been looking for a Senior Pastor for three years. After the last candidate told the elders no (for a super good reason) they asked me to lead a Pastor Search Team. Wow....what was really all God was that He had been shutting out ideas about men's ministry since November. I mean when I would work on event planning etc it was like He was saying no.....I don't want you working on that, then the ideas stopped, the passion I had was quenched and in talking with my mentors they had told me to simply pray and wait.

You know how hard that can be.

So I had stepped aside from leading our Men's Ministry- BridgeBuilders and handed leadership to another solid brother in Christ and stepped back. Still on the team but not leading.

That is when I got the call from one of my pastors. "The elders would like for you to lead the Pastor Search Team," "They feel with your background and giftedness in Human Resources, you would be a good fit for this."
I responded right away that I wanted to "Rebuild the Wall," ( We have been studying Nehemiah on Sundays) and I would be glad to lead this.

Wow..it was like so clear then. What an honor. Since that point I have had no worries about this process as I have been spending more time with Him than ever and He keeps reassuring me. I have enlisted many prayer warriors and I can feel their prayers...I know that God has the man who will be our next Sr. Pastor and we will find him.

The elders and pastors selected about 20 plus people from the body to be on this team with me. We met and talked about the process and asked each to pray and consider how much time this would take and if they were interested to come back the next week and we would begin.

That next week we had 17 people that felt God telling them to join this process. I lead a meeting thru Prayer, Sketching what we want the Pastor to look like ( just so they could realize that he can't be all those things, but be the man we need with the giftedness that fits this body) and then looked at the 12 qualities the elders said he should have. We also talked about giftedness of each team member and I thought it was superb that many had the gift of teaching. It would come in handy as we move forward. My gifts are administration and discernment.

I ask the Lord daily for a little bit of Solomon's Wisdom and the planning gift of Nehemiah in this process. My first issue was what to do with 17 people! So after prayer and thought, I decided three areas that would be key and let them sign up for which they would like.

Our Three Teams:
1) Process Development- this team comes up with things along the way to aid like a packet of information about the church, handles names from the body, and resumes.
2) Prayer and Communication-this team is to communicate with the body and to plan out the prayers for them to join us in. They are setting up a website to chart this journey too. Their first communication will be the 18th.
3) Research- this team has contacted seminaries and associations and the list of candidates the elders had and have been hard at work. They have my e-mail slammed with resumes.

This next Thursday the 8th we will regroup and compare where we are at since the 1st meeting.

I have called all 60 deacons of the church together for a short meeting on the 11th at the church to bring them up to speed in the communication process, ask them to take their place "on the wall" as Nehemiah did with many family leaders did. To stand with me, to begin to develop "Joshuas" in their areas and to be getting ready for growth of the church. This was the message the Lord spoke to me this past week.......He must be the focus not us!

Now, I am not nieve. Even Nehemiah faced opposition. I see it daily in work. I am ready. "Let me be clear" as someone likes to say alot....God has also taken me thru much in my life to prepare me for this moment. I will not let Him down.....as soon as the church link is up I will share it here so you can follow and prayer with us.

Lord, give me wisdom today and help me to do the things you need me to do to 1) lead my family so you will be proud 2) to cherish my wife and kids 3) to be a good named worker 4) to be able to lead this team that will make You proud 4) to fulfill my calling as an ambassador for Christ. 5) to make much of you in the "Kairos" moment I am here on Earth.

Today how are you doing about being closer to God? The way to do this in 1) be in a bible believing church 2) read and study the word of God 3) be discipled by someone else 4) disciple someone else and keep applying the word to your life......Remember it is not about you. It is about Him. More of Him and less of you....and especially at Easter, He died for you and me to have eternal life. Now, that is what is so wonderful about Jesus, my Abba father. Hebrews 13:8 the media, tv stars etc can despise Him but they will come and go, He stays the same for you and me.....Always...