I am always interested in going back to basic truths. Theories come and go ---- one is popular until replaced by the latest and greatest. I remember the detergents used by Mary Alice --- they were always “new and improved.” Fundamental truths never have to be bigger and better --- they are real from the git-go, as they say in Tennessee.
One of the basics I enjoy studying is the question: “Where is your ego based?” I find with many men, their ego is satisfied more by their business than by their family. This motivation drives them to spend way more time at work than at home. Somehow they feel they have stronger possibilities and authority in the office.
I asked a friend why he didn’t retire. He said, “At the office I have seventeen buttons on my desk. I can push any of them and something happens. Fred, at home I don’t even have one!” This is a pretty honest statement of ego. I am not advocating this kind of ego control --- but it exists and we need to look at the facts.
Ego drives production. For me, it took a long time to understand the relationship between production and family relations. When I was about 60, it occurred to me I tried to run the family like I ran the business. I actually thought in terms of org charts and line responsibilities. I failed to understand one critical fact: in the family, relation IS the production.
This was hard for me. I made a conscious decision to shift my view of family, but man alive, it wasn’t easy. I was right there if Mary Alice or one of the children wanted to talk about a personal development program. I would get right with it. If they wanted to watch TV, that was too relational for me. Then, I realized : relation is the production.
I’m doing my best, but I will tell you – when you make a major change in your life, it’s very difficult. All of your reflexes, your habits, your thought patterns, and your experiences are altered. It is almost like a Christian conversion ---- you have to become a new person. But, the shift is worth it. I may feel more productive in the office, but I know this is a long term investment of great value. And, you don’t give up accomplishment for relation because they’re not opposed to each other. You simply understand what is primary and what is secondary.
The pay day for me is a drawing I keep on my wall, given to me by my granddaughter. It says, “My grandfather is interested in many things, but best of all, he loves me.”
This week seriously consider: 1) Where is my heart --- at home or at the office? 2) How do I honestly define production? 3) What does my priority list look like?
Words of Wisdom: “In the family, relation IS the production.”
Wisdom from the Word: “Then all the people returned to their homes, and David went to pronounce a blessing on his family.” (2 Chronicles 16:43 NET Bible)
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